Transcendant

Today I woke up with the urge to play my tin whistle.  I've been playing around with a few jigs that I've fallen in love with and have been playing them in sets.  I think I've created a new one, but I'll have to do some research on that.  I'm simply enjoying playing.  It's like reconnecting with my core.  I'm not worried about what I sound like (though it does sound good if I say so myself), or what I look like; freckled chick tapping her foot and moving to the music she's producing, with eyes closed and an idiotic grin on her face because she's deliriously happy.  I've decided that jigs are my favorite tunes to play. They sway.  They're playful.  And they make me happy.  I always wonder, when I get into a playing frenzy, why don't I play more often?  Do I not think I'm worthy of all this bliss?  Or do I simply cop out too soon when I come across a tune that is proving to be more difficult to play and I've grown bored with the tunes I'm already good at?  I present these questions to the Universe.  See, I recently faced a fear of mine without really even trying.  Perhaps this is also a fear?  Fear of what though exactly?  Fear of failure or fear of success?  Does it matter? If it's a fear it must be addressed and faced.  Overcome.  I recently got over my fear of rollercoasters.  I'll admit, I was reluctant at first to get on, but the person I was with really wanted to, and I didn't want to take that fun away from her.  So I did it!  And you know what?  I thoroughly enjoyed myself!  Enough to get on two more that day.  The last of which was absolutely terrifying!  But also invigorating and freeing.  I was quite proud of myself.  Perhaps my fear of rollercoasters stemmed from a fear of letting go.  I'm not a control freak by any means, but I do like to know the outcome of situations before I dive into them...for the most part anyway.  I seem to be quite the opposite when it comes to relationships, which is quite ironic when you think about it.  I'm always diving in head first without checking to see if there's water in the pool.  Hmmm seems a bit reckless now that I see it in writing.  All passion and no depth.  Which is the opposite of who I am.  Well, not entirely opposite.  I'd say I'm 50/50.  I do have passion after all.  For a lot of things.  And today I'm being exactly that; passionate.  Passionate and deep connecting to my core.  I feel invincible.  And no one nor anything can take that away from me.  I went out on a limb today.  I followed my heart's desire to play.  And I was transcended.  Much like that day riding rollercoasters.  And for now I will leave you to ponder:  what am I afraid of?  And how can I face it?  What is my heart telling me to do?  What can I do for myself right now that will make me happy?  Ponder this, as I ride this current of infinite joy. 

Carpe Diem,
Keely