WOW! Has it really been since September of 2010 that I last posted? So much has happened. I won't get it all caught up here, but I'll start by saying that I'm still in France. And I'm almost finished with my teaching stint. So far this entire experience has been amazing. In my personal life, a lot has changed. I am no longer in that relationship that I'd struggled so hard to leave behind. I did manage to visit home and said significant other, but somewhere down the line there was a major upset and true colors were shown. Something happened that made me completely reconsider the entire relationship and where it was (or really wasn't ) going. So I ended it. It wasn't easy. But it made me grow. Know what's amazing after getting out of a relationship that holds you back? You realize, once you're free and can take a step back, all the potential that life has to offer. And everything is literally right at your fingertips! The World is now my oyster! In every aspect. Career, travel, new relationships, EVERYTHING. And it's rushing toward me (or am I rushing toward it?) at full speed with arms wide open. It's an amazing feeling :-)
I've also learned a lot about myself. I don't have any regrets and I wouldn't be the person I am today without the experiences I had in said relationship. But I also feel like I'm back to the "me" I was as a much younger girl. Not in an immature, reverting back to childhood way, but in a centering way. I'm "me", but so much more. I'm an artist. Not with paint or pastels, but with words. I've started writing again. I'm not sure why I stopped, actually. It was always something that I just did naturally. My bedroom at home is filled with notebooks containing my musings, stories, and most of all, songs. I haven't written a song in a year! I remember a time when I wrote 9 songs in a month! Of course, songwriting is difficult when I don't have a guitar lying around for me to pick up and play. But my lack of songwriting has prompted me to practice my Irish flute and tin whistle more. I'm still not "session ready" (to my perfectionist ears at least) but I'm definitely improving. I'm writing a memoir. Not sure if it's something I'll eventually get published. But it's therapeutic nonetheless. It's my life beginning at age 20. Why age 20? Because at age 20 I became an adult. Or at least came to the realization that if I didn't live my life for me and do what I'm passionate about doing RIGHT NOW (or well...once I turned 20) it would never happen, and I'd be then sucked into the abyss that is office work and dead ends and disappointment and doing something "constructive", something I'm "supposed" to be doing instead of something I love. So yeah, age 20.
I realize this is a terrible place to leave off, but I'm exhausted and can barely keep my eyes open. I'll do my best to stick with this blog and not leave month long gaps.
Cheers,
Keely
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